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Aug. 24th, 2009 | 03:48 pm

Since my last post was mid-October 2008, I'll start with saying that my Halloween Costume, Sexy Lunch Lady, was everything you imagine except Sexy.  My dress was too big and no amount of discreet duct tape could make it slutty enough. The goal was to win sexiest and scariest prizes while "making a statement" about how absurd female costumes are now.  I did carry around a bowl of jello because I figured it was too dangerous to carry sloppy joe meat after getting drunk and I can't stand the smell of potato salad.  I think the painted on unibrow and mustache were a bit much for Preston.  After the party he told me he never wanted to see that costume again.  Fair enough.

November - Thanksgiving was fun?
December - Family Christmas was a train wreck.  We (Preston and I) went to San Angelo with the rest of the family - everyone caught some horrible virus.
End of January - found out I was pregnant. 

So since January I've just been gaining weight (most of what I lost over the years - I feel like a house right now).  I'm due October 5th, it's a girl, we're naming her Eleanor.

Yesterday I had an iced coffee and Preston gave me the dirty ashamed look that he jeopardizes his chances of being able to create a second child, which is of no concern to me because my second child is going to be Cambodian.  TRUST.  

Pregnancy is pretty gross and while it's pretty cool to feel her move around blah blah blah, I'm counting down the six weeks I have left.  I can't wait to eat sushi, drink wine, and do real workouts. 

Fin.

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Oct. 16th, 2008 | 05:25 pm

I made quinoa with shrimp (that I purchased from my Whole Foods boyfriend, Jeric) last night and watched the debate.  Last night ruled.  Texted back and forth with Ben during the debate and sent him a rant this morning about how absurd it is that the anchors go to their pool of "undecideds" after the debated to gauge their feelings - Fuck them.  They're stupid and too lazy, I wonder if they're all registered.  I swear one of them said, "I like what McCain had to say about the economy.  I'm still undecided but now I have more to think about."  Fuck.  Yes, continue to think about it.  God forbid you pick up a paper, though - that might make thinking hurt. 

Pretty weather = Happy Kelly.

Other things making me happy:

Sweet Tomatoes Apple Cider and Green Tea
Punk Goes Crunk album that isn't necessarily good so much as it is fun
OBAMA
Honeycrisp Apples (shout out to typsygypsy who recommended them at least two years ago, maybe three?)
My Halloween costume (still a plan more than a completed project but I have two weeks and the main article of clothing necessary)
Christmas - It's the whole family this year

Tomorrow I'm going to that Friday Night DMA thing with Preston.  Happy Emoticon Here.

 


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SPOILER ALERT!

Jun. 27th, 2008 | 10:00 am

This year I'm going to make everyone a dreamcatcher for Christmas. 

I'm in a giddy, great mood.  WEIRD.

I've been experimenting with Hypermiling. I can tell I'm getting extra mileage out of my car, but I've only been doing it for a few days and I didn't fill up all the way, so full details are unavailable.  I'll fill up next week and track it/report afterwards.

My sister is giving me the silent treatment because we got in an email war on Obama - apparently he's naive and she's going to lose her house because he's going to raise her taxes, even though his tax plan doesn't raise her taxes, and after sending her numerous emails proving her wrong, she still insisted, "he's naive and if his plan doesn't work, I LOSE MY HOUSE!"  I said, "Really - just like that.  You're going to lose your house before you sell your gas guzzling Hummer for a more fuel efficient car?"  I said a lot of other things, but they weren't directly aimed at her, so I'm sure it'll blow over soon.

So back in my youth we had the Dallas Morning News delivered daily and I started following the comic strip, For Better or For Worse.  It's episodic and sweet, although not technically funny, even when it tries.  The artist, Lynn Johnston, has a website and you can go to the monthly archives and catch up all at once, which I do every few weeks.  Great way to kill a few minutes.

NATSUMI!!!!  STUDS!!!!  N.O. Brew!!!!!  

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I like bullet points and brownies

Jun. 5th, 2008 | 03:03 pm


  • My mother will be visiting my sister (in South Dakota) at the end of this month, staying through July 4th.  This means I am not required to visit San Angelo for the Mom's Birthday/July 4th fest.  WOOT! 
  • I really like using Boca ground "beef" in recipes such as tacos or spaghetti sauce.
  • Michelle Obama is BORING
  • I think Cindy McCain should get her own talk show.  Has she been on Martha yet?  I'm going to tivo that one.

I'm reading Positively Fifth Street, by James McManus.  It's engrossing.  I'm avoiding googling anything related to the story because while I'm sure they're found guilty, I'm secretly hoping they aren't.  Danny-Ben-Fred all read this years ago and so I'm definitely last semester on it, but whatever - I gave them A Prayer for Owen Meany and The Golden Compass so whatever, dudes.

I call cookies biscuits.  That's not true.

Still not watching T.V.  Go me.

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Jun. 2nd, 2008 | 04:11 pm

Saturday morning - I decided to take Preston to breakfast and Half-Price Books flagship store, as he'd never been.  He's in the shower and he says, "Kelly, there's another wasp in your bathroom.   Isn't this the fourth or fifth one?"   Yes, it is. 

Sometimes I leave my back door open so Hannah can go outside and fresh air can come in.  Sometimes the fresh air brings bugs.  I had assumed that the wasps were coming in at that time and flying past me, undetected, into the bathroom.  Preston argues that obviously they are coming from somewhere else and suggests that we empty my closet, which I'm not interested in as it's the only closet in my whole apartment and thus CRAMMED FULL of all my stuff, including the golf clubs I bought off of Ebay (ladies, left-handed, $25 = bargain for me) and only used that one time in Grand Prairie.

Ah but I digress, right so I'm thinking, "maybe there's a nest outside the bathroom window and maybe there's a gap in the window frame?" and I pull the "curtain" (towel I hung up for privacy but have yet to replace with a real curtain) and sure enough, there's a small nest INSIDE my bathroom in the corner of the window sill.  I commence to do the freak out dance/whimper song and start twitching and Holy Effing God there are wasps LIVING in my bathroom. 

Preston does not man up and kill them for me while I stand down the street waiting for a coast is clear signal. 

Instead he insists on googling the best way to handle them (I have roach spray) and learns that wasps are less active at night and that's the best time to spray them. 

We go to breakfast (Ed's Deli on Preston and 635 - HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommended for those not counting calories - I'm going back for the reuben) and then to Half-Price (I somehow managed to keep my purchase under $20 - three books) and then to Kroger to pick out the appropriate wasp spray. 

Preston has to be at work and has advised me that I am going into this battle solo.  Saturday evening I go to dinner and then to see the Old 97's at the House of Blues and I drink the appropriate amount of alcohol and then go home and I'm ready!  Let's do this!

Very anticlimactic.  You're supposed to spray from about 25 feet away, but since I'm inside my bathroom, I'm only about 3-4 feet away.  The spray is a powerful jet, so it pretty much just annihilates the whole nest, dead wasps drop to the sill, nothing moves.  I stand there for a second, surprised at how simple the whole thing was and then I soak the whole nest down with the spray.  

The scariest part is that there were 20 eggs/larvae inside the nest. 

And now I'm itchy again.

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May. 29th, 2008 | 11:14 am

Here are all the things on my mind:

1 - Why do I love poker so much when I am obviously not a good player? 
2 - Having a social life is really interfering with quality reading time. 
3 - I don't watch much t.v. anymore - that's a little odd.
4 - I have been sporting Lorelai Gilmore hair - it's unintentional.  I promise. 
5 - The reason I am not a vegetarian is laziness.
6 - My drunk uncle called me.  Please god don't make me go to another apartment complex pool party. 

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May. 28th, 2008 | 11:31 am

Granted I haven't read the book yet, just an article on the book, but it seems that McClellan's book is just as much about saying, "It's not my fault" as it is a book about the truth - "I'm sorry that it turns out I was lying to America, but I didn't know it."  I'm not entirely bothered, just a little disappointed.  I think I'll check this one out of the library. Great- now I need a library card.

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(no subject)

May. 15th, 2008 | 11:48 am

San Angelo recap:
- Didn't take a single picture
- Sister-Wives only in town on weekdays, at the courthouse
- Steak and Mushrooms = good
- My mother knows ALL THE WORDS. Mark my words - I will beat her at Boggle. This will be the exact moment she becomes OLD.  She will shrink before my eyes and then, not only will I be the "King of Boggle", I will also, finally, be taller than her. 

Other Random Goals - tank top arms, clean house, happy hour

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(no subject)

May. 7th, 2008 | 03:43 pm

I'm going to San Angelo this weekend.  So on Monday, I'll be sure to post SISTER-WIFE PHOTOS somewhere between the rants about alcoholism and boredom and emotional baggage.

From now on, when people don't laugh at my jokes I'm going to say, "You just don't understand my dry, British sense of humour"

Grievance
Last December I stepped into my annual review and my boss's wife said, "How long have you been here?"  "Two and a half years."  "Really? I thought it was just a year and a half."   Would that have changed my bonus? 


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(no subject)

Apr. 23rd, 2008 | 12:21 pm

"Hey Mom, so how about I come visit you this weekend instead of next weekend?"
"That's fine."
"Great!"
"What's wrong with the weekend after next?"
"Nothing, I can come then instead.  Whichever you prefer?  Why?"
"It's Mother's Day.  I want someone to visit me on Mother's Day."
"Oh.  Right.. AWESOME"

She's still going to cook steak for me, right? 

Snapped this photo on the way home yesterday. I call it, "Spring"

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